Reflections...

A sermon preached at Kowloon Union Church on Sunday 7 February 2010, fifth Sunday after Epiphany, by the Rev. Phyllis Wong. The scripture readings that day were Isaiah 6:1-6 and Luke 5:1-11.


On the right hand side of the altar, a banner is hanged up against the wall. This is a banner with a design of a net and a boat, with the words ‘come, follow me’. This is the image of today’s narrative of the Gospel reading from Luke 5:1-11 ---- Jesus’ miracle catching huge amount of fish and called his disciples to follow him.

Do you remember when was this banner hanged up for the first time? The first time this banner was hanged up was on the 9th November 2008. That was the Sunday when I was ordained at KUC. This has been a year and two months since then.

In this banner, we see clearly two key words ‘follow me’. But in the narrative, when the disciples Peter, James and John were called by Jesus, they did not just follow Jesus, but also they left everything, as described in the narrative, “they left everything and followed him”. Leaving everything is a key action in following Jesus.

What do you think Peter, James and John had left when they followed Jesus? Two things were perhaps obvious: the fish which was their harvest, their source of income and wealth, the other were the fishing tools, include the nets, the boats and so on.
Besides the physical materials, something that we can see mentioned above, what else did Peter leave behind when he followed Jesus?

Don’t you find Peter’s response to Jesus interesting and strange? Instead of giving thanks to Jesus for his miracle to bring him an unexpected harvest, Peter was astonished and humbly fell down at Jesus’ knee saying, “go away from me Lord for I am a sinner.” Interestingly, the power of Jesus made Peter stay away from Jesus for He was too great and superior to him. Peter could not stand in front of this great man, the son of God. Why is that?

Peter’s response may help us to understand the deeper meaning of the narrative. I would say that Peter had left asides some kind of sins when he followed Jesus. To leave everything, this everything included the sin of pride, guilt and doubts. Peter might have been aware that he had doubts on Jesus’ instruction to let the net down into the water. He might have this pride for he had much experience in the fishing profession. Peter used his experience to judge. It was fair and reasonable from our human point of view. But it was Peter himself who realized his own dark side and limitations in front of this great man, the son of God, holy and powerful. Equally, Jesus’ response to Peter’s astonishment was touching. He said to Peter, “don’t be afraid, from now on you will be catching people”. Peter’s humility and self critical reflection might have also impressed Jesus. Jesus gave Peter the important assignment of catching people. Jesus’ power and tender love had obviously touched the heart of Peter and others. They immediately left everything and followed him after they had brought their boats to shore. This was a beautiful encounter between Jesus and his disciples.

Peter’s personal encounter with God was amazing and touching. Peter’s experience with Jesus’ in his response to God’s calling has reminded me of my own experience in encountering God.

Before I decided to take up the ministry in KUC, I went to Tao Fung Shan for a day retreat. I prayed to God and meditated for this decision of joining KUC to begin my full time ministry in church. My worry at that time was that I understood that working in a church full time is never easy. It requires a lot of commitment, personal adjustment and sacrifice. I am a kind of person who needs a lot of personal space and freedom. Working in a local congregation where people come from diverse backgrounds, with different personalities and views, is very difficult indeed. I have to be accommodating and patient to different kinds of people. I had much struggles for such a decision as I wanted to keep my freedom and do whatever I like without much constraints. When I was praying in the Crypt, the small room inside a cave, I cried to God for the Lord’s guidance. While I was looking at the cross and meditating, I was deeply touched by the love of God through the Holy Spirit. I talked to myself and to God that ‘OK, I will do whatever God leads me to do. For God’s sake, I am willing to leave behind the desire for freedom.’ After this prayer of my surrender from the desire for this ‘self-centred’ freedom, something quite unusual happened. I had a strong sense of relief. I felt so liberated and free at that moment. This was a sacred moment that I would never forget. My willingness to give up the desire for personal freedom for God’s sake has brought me a strong sense of liberation. This is the genuine freedom, a truth from God that I had never experienced before. When I let go of this struggle for personal freedom, I experienced a strong sense of inner peace at the bottom of my heart. Tears rolled down across my face nonstop. These were tears of gratitude and joy for I was embraced and connected fully in God’s love and his calling.

God’s calling for us to follow Jesus requires us to leave everything. This everything includes our denial of our own self interests and desires. As we are all different, we may have different desires in life. They can be the desire for getting rich, a desire to win prestige from others, a desire to take power and to control, a desire to have a sense of security and so on. We need to be honest to ourselves and learn from St. Peter of his high level of self awareness and reflective ability. These are the qualities that help us to stay close to God and let God transform our lives and become more like Christ.

As expected, full time ministry at KUC was not plain sailing even though I had an affirmation from God. The first barrier for me in KUC was the language. As I am not a native English speaker, I have to make lots of efforts to adjust to the ways of communication and overcome many difficulties while I serve in this international English speaking church. In the first few months, after a day of work especially on Sundays, I would feel very tired and exhausted. There were also times of up and downs in the first two years of service. The fear of rejection and the feeling of inadequacy came up time and again. Frustrations sometimes come from others and some times come from myself.

In the narrative of Luke, Peter described himself as a sinful man and asked Jesus to go stay away from him. Sin is defined as a state of alienation, alienation with oneself, with others and with God. Separation of relationships is regarded as sin. Self- doubts and self negative criticism are very destructive. This sinful state will lead a person to stay apart from God and God’s will. I did come across this kind of state and questioned myself if I was suitable for the job and for the ministry. Therefore, we have to be sensitive to this destructive force that draws us to stay away from God. We need to be alert of our sins of self doubts and all kinds of inner fear. We then ask for God’s forgiveness and mercy. We have to be assured that our Lord Jesus is forgiving, full of love and glory. This very essence of God gives hope to those who are humble and turn to God for her mercy. From Isaiah 6, we have witnessed also how God’s glory empowered his servant Isaiah who turned to the Lord and was ready to be sent by God for his mission.

Friends, what do you have to leave or let go if you give your life to God and follow Jesus? For we are from different age, gender, nationality, socio-economic and cultural backgrounds, we may have different things to consider.

For Peter, James and John, they left their business of catching fish. They had changed their vocation completely. In one way or the other, they had let go of their sense of security in life for they did not care how they would support their lives after they left their job as fishermen or stop doing the fishing business.

Today, the calling from God does not necessarily ask you to change your vocation. Instead, our Lord God would like to challenge us to think and make a change.

1) Identify anything that would hinder you to stay close to God and follow Jesus’ way, and then try to let them go by the grace of Jesus Christ.
2) For God’s sake, to move on in life by doing something that you may find unfamiliar. To put it simple, try to go beyond your comfort zone.
3) Thirdly, the message “to leave everything and follow Jesus” has pointed to us one important thing, we have to focus our life in Jesus and avoid being side-tracked by other things.

To leave everything and follow Jesus requires commitment. If we do not leave everything behind, we can only follow Jesus half heartedly. Jesus in his earthly journey had demonstrated his obedience to God to advance the Kingdom of God. Jesus had also demonstrated his immense courage to face all kinds of challenges for the sake of love and care for others.

The loving encounters with the merciful God who is full of glory through the disciples in the New Testament and the prophets in Old Testament (Isaiah that we heard this morning), have conveyed to us one truth, God has called up God’s people to serve in the world. It is always a mutual relationship that God allow people to respond to his invitation for engaging in his ministry. Today, if God tells you to catch many people, would you reply to God with confidence and commitment, ‘I will leave everything and follow you’?

The invitation is now opened to you. God has been patiently waiting for your reply and love to our Lord. Amen.